So I am a smoker, trying to become a non-smoker. I've been smoking for 40 years, not smoking for twelve years of my life. Today as I was struggling with my second day of not smoking, it struck me exactly how addictive ciagarettes really are. Jesus, I fest like a heoine addict must feel, my hands began to shake, I felt like I was going to stroke out.....Jesus....
My mind went to crazy places, worrying if those people I know care about me really do. all because of a stupid tobacco dependency. I am quitting because I have decided that my money could be better spent on other pursuits. I have thus far exhibited none of the usual health problems...strictly a monetary inducement....the purposes of which will remain between me and the other interested party. i felt that this motivation would be enough, and yet, apparently not in the first thoes of withdrawal. these things are dangerous...even this I wouldn't admit to until thi , my hopeful last attempt to quit them...wish me luck. My health and happiness are at stake.
2008-02-15
2008-02-07
So I am heartbroken, just saw an advertisement for something called a bunk-futon, this is so close to being a bunk-chair that the makers can't be far from developing it. Another (the first) glorious idea of mine co-opted by the capitalist bastards!!! If i could only figure out who to sue, i wouldn't do a thing.
On another completely different topic there is a new site on facebook that caters to the Canadian Political scene, it is open to all, one needn't join a group, nor do anything except read and comment on various subjects that are opened for debate by readers. It is a brilliant idea, and a real opportunity to exchange viewpoints with fellow Canadians, the downside is that my views seem strangely out of step with the views of fellow Canadians, at least those who are posting on this site. I don't often feel like a far left, socialist, backsliding, bleeding heart, relic, yet in reading and commenting on this site, that is just how I feel. So far from whatever mainstream this site is appealing to am I, that no one has yet to comment or mention in passing any thing that I have written. I am an invisible man, people are jumping my comments to speak to the comments of someone three posts ago. Makes me think i am back in highschool, only this go round i don't even get to strike the sullen James Dean pose.
But I'll keep plugging, too late to stop now, as Van Morrison is want to say.
On another completely different topic there is a new site on facebook that caters to the Canadian Political scene, it is open to all, one needn't join a group, nor do anything except read and comment on various subjects that are opened for debate by readers. It is a brilliant idea, and a real opportunity to exchange viewpoints with fellow Canadians, the downside is that my views seem strangely out of step with the views of fellow Canadians, at least those who are posting on this site. I don't often feel like a far left, socialist, backsliding, bleeding heart, relic, yet in reading and commenting on this site, that is just how I feel. So far from whatever mainstream this site is appealing to am I, that no one has yet to comment or mention in passing any thing that I have written. I am an invisible man, people are jumping my comments to speak to the comments of someone three posts ago. Makes me think i am back in highschool, only this go round i don't even get to strike the sullen James Dean pose.
But I'll keep plugging, too late to stop now, as Van Morrison is want to say.
2008-02-03
On a quiet Sunday afternoon, sitting around waiting for an answer, that one might not want to receive, the idea of bravery took hold of my conscious mind. The nature of bravery and the other side of the coin, cowardice.
Bravery, a selfless act of courage, typically for a nobler cause. An external act to the betterment of a movement, cause, belief, or nation. A soldier putting his life on the line for his country. A fireman entering a burning building to save a family. A politician giong against conventional wisdom to pursue a greater good. A citizen ignoring personal safety to intercede on another's behalf.
Cowardice, an act of self-preservation, completely internal, for no greater purpose than to protect oneself from harm. Either physical or emotional, have been an emotional coward for far too long. Need to not succumb so easily to blaming others for my own fears and failings. Going to try this out.
Bravery, a selfless act of courage, typically for a nobler cause. An external act to the betterment of a movement, cause, belief, or nation. A soldier putting his life on the line for his country. A fireman entering a burning building to save a family. A politician giong against conventional wisdom to pursue a greater good. A citizen ignoring personal safety to intercede on another's behalf.
Cowardice, an act of self-preservation, completely internal, for no greater purpose than to protect oneself from harm. Either physical or emotional, have been an emotional coward for far too long. Need to not succumb so easily to blaming others for my own fears and failings. Going to try this out.
2008-02-02
So I took January off. Maybe nothing was bugging me, don't really know.
Canada will be deciding this year whether or not to continue its role in Afghanistan, and if we continue, what shape and form it takes. More combat, which seems unavoidable if we are there, or more rebuilding infrastructure, which seems impossible if things continue to be destroyed by fighting. My own view has recently undergone some change, there was a time when I would have said bring our troops home now. Now I'm not convinced that we should be there, but not willing to cavalierly walk away, the one thing that I have always admired about our Canada is its willingness to do the moral thing. I guess that I am as susceptible to media as the next, and I have come to view the effort as admirable, if I still have some negative feelings about the deeds.
We can't turn back the hands of time, and wish that none of this had happened, we are there, our people are being killed and nothing really seems to be being resolved. Where do we go from here? Again, to arrive at solution one must first identify the problem. What seemed like an effort to aid the US in its fight against terror by somehow blocking or providing a safe zone of terrorist infiltration into Iraq, has become something greater. Is this just a matter of regime change? A matter of exerting our western will? Or as I sincerely hope, an effort to introduce freedoms and self determination to a troubled populace? Is the problem that Afghanistan exists as an anti-west force?, that they view us as the enemy? that they have govern themselves differently from us? that civil liberties that we take for granted are non-existent? or is the problem that Afghanistan exists?
If we truly believe that western man has arrived at a system of government that best reflects the best hopes for the populace then shouldn't our efforts reflect this belief? If fighting terrorists is the best use of our might, then should we not be at the same time be demonstrating our morality. If we are truly trying to help, shouldn't our efforts be reflective of our belief system?
Shouldn't we be doing every thing we can to make sure that we run a clean, open, and value based campaign? Now this might strike some as silly, but it was exactly this that the Geneva Convention was attempting to do, regulate how and under what rules enemy forces engaged.
We can not tolerate abuse or torture of prisoners, we will not tolerate deception or obfuscation by our leaders. We in Canada need to be included in the discussion. What I suggest is that in order to win this fight, we need to be ourselves and prove in some way that the fight is honourable and just. This is not a fight for territory, nor gain, but rather a fight for the hearts of a population, that needs to see that we truly have their best interests in our hearts. A most difficult task when one has your rifle in the others face, for sure, but one we must concentrate on winning.
So Jack, running is not an option, yes the military war might be unwinnable, but we might be able to stay long enough to win the social war.
So Stephen, staying without understanding the objectives is untenable, we need to know what you are thinking and what our forces are being asked to do. It is up to you to run an open and honest government, so that those watching will see its benefit. Hope that you are up to this task.
Stephane, we need you to engage in the discussion, not on party lines, we don't need politics, we need to be discussing values, did nothing M Chretien teach you sink in?
Canadians, we need to begin discussing all of this, together, openly and cross culturally, we need to begin to once again define our collective differences, so we can be a map for the world. We will never lead the world, but we can sure guide it. Look at us, it works here.
Peace
Canada will be deciding this year whether or not to continue its role in Afghanistan, and if we continue, what shape and form it takes. More combat, which seems unavoidable if we are there, or more rebuilding infrastructure, which seems impossible if things continue to be destroyed by fighting. My own view has recently undergone some change, there was a time when I would have said bring our troops home now. Now I'm not convinced that we should be there, but not willing to cavalierly walk away, the one thing that I have always admired about our Canada is its willingness to do the moral thing. I guess that I am as susceptible to media as the next, and I have come to view the effort as admirable, if I still have some negative feelings about the deeds.
We can't turn back the hands of time, and wish that none of this had happened, we are there, our people are being killed and nothing really seems to be being resolved. Where do we go from here? Again, to arrive at solution one must first identify the problem. What seemed like an effort to aid the US in its fight against terror by somehow blocking or providing a safe zone of terrorist infiltration into Iraq, has become something greater. Is this just a matter of regime change? A matter of exerting our western will? Or as I sincerely hope, an effort to introduce freedoms and self determination to a troubled populace? Is the problem that Afghanistan exists as an anti-west force?, that they view us as the enemy? that they have govern themselves differently from us? that civil liberties that we take for granted are non-existent? or is the problem that Afghanistan exists?
If we truly believe that western man has arrived at a system of government that best reflects the best hopes for the populace then shouldn't our efforts reflect this belief? If fighting terrorists is the best use of our might, then should we not be at the same time be demonstrating our morality. If we are truly trying to help, shouldn't our efforts be reflective of our belief system?
Shouldn't we be doing every thing we can to make sure that we run a clean, open, and value based campaign? Now this might strike some as silly, but it was exactly this that the Geneva Convention was attempting to do, regulate how and under what rules enemy forces engaged.
We can not tolerate abuse or torture of prisoners, we will not tolerate deception or obfuscation by our leaders. We in Canada need to be included in the discussion. What I suggest is that in order to win this fight, we need to be ourselves and prove in some way that the fight is honourable and just. This is not a fight for territory, nor gain, but rather a fight for the hearts of a population, that needs to see that we truly have their best interests in our hearts. A most difficult task when one has your rifle in the others face, for sure, but one we must concentrate on winning.
So Jack, running is not an option, yes the military war might be unwinnable, but we might be able to stay long enough to win the social war.
So Stephen, staying without understanding the objectives is untenable, we need to know what you are thinking and what our forces are being asked to do. It is up to you to run an open and honest government, so that those watching will see its benefit. Hope that you are up to this task.
Stephane, we need you to engage in the discussion, not on party lines, we don't need politics, we need to be discussing values, did nothing M Chretien teach you sink in?
Canadians, we need to begin discussing all of this, together, openly and cross culturally, we need to begin to once again define our collective differences, so we can be a map for the world. We will never lead the world, but we can sure guide it. Look at us, it works here.
Peace
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)