So it is December 1st!! I guess we all know what this means, time to decide what Christmas Traditions we will follow this year. Most people when asked admit to having some pretty deeply ingrained beliefs around Christmas traditions. When do we put up the tree? When do we open the presents? Where are we going to have Christmas dinner? Most people can tell you exactly what their traditions are- We always put up the tree the Sunday before Christmas, We always go to Midnight Mass. We open presents Christmas morning after breakfast (after my parents arrive). Then around 4:00 we head over to (insert spouses name here)'s parents house for Christmas dinner. Yumm turkey and stuffing! We're typically home by midnight, and the next day we're off to my sister's house. Everyone has these, or some variation on same.
When I was a kid, we put up the tree on Christmas Eve. What a beautiful tradition....my father would set the tree in it's stand, water it, tie it off to the wall, then he and my mother would string the lights, after which we kids (my two older sisters and myself) would string the garland,
and put the baubles on. Then my father would top the tree with the Angel. How darling... the reality is my father would put the tree in the stand, cursing the entire time, because the godd*m*d trunk is bl**dy crooked! 'Norma, is it straight?' (as he`s belly down on the floor, fiddling with the set screws). `Can anyone tell me if the god*mn*d things straight!! Jesus H Christ!! I`m getting a drink. No, I`ll tell you when you can start decorating. Don`t bug me!!`
He returns a few minutes later, full drink in hand, `now can someone just hold the thing steady while I tighten it down`. Down to the floor he goes, ìs that straight, okay hold it like that, Jesus
don`t move! `Christ, Rob you get down here, I`ll hold the jesus thing straight while you tighten them up.` no turn them the other way! Is this thing even straight. You`ve got the bare patch pointing out, Jesus. He storms out for another drink....three drinks later (usually rye and 7-up)
the tree is securely in its stand, and we decide how best to tie it to the wall--couple drinks later he and my mother begin to string the lights `have we tested them` well a few drinks down the road and we can start decorating--much instruction, and warning about dropping fragile baubles follows, finish off with icicles, water the tree and voila! We all stand back to enjoy our handiwork.
Sometime in this the tree falls down, usually just after the tree stand is filled with sugar water.
Well you get the picture, and it ain`t pretty. Yet we all continue to celebrate, and put up trees and act like all of this is normal...
Some years my father would still be awake at midnight mass time, though we never went, but he would on those occassions of his consciousness watch the pope on tv. He wouldn`t attend mass, `well not since they stopped performing it in Latin, it`s lost all of it`s wonder.` Then he would toddle off to bed, his snoring keeping most of the area residents awake half of the night.
The first tree that I ever put up away from home (my parent`s home) was with my future wife of the time (now ex-wife), we put it up about two weeks before Christmas. We were hosting a party and needed the tree up, and Nancy`s family always put up their tree early. Tradition One gone. Although I probably got drunk, so only partly gone. Whereas my family always stayed home and entertained on Christmas, Nancy and I would need to visit, her parents on Christmas Eve, my parents Christmas Day. Number Two, pffft. Boxing Day as a kid was a day for friends-
as a husband a day for her grandparents and extended family. Number Three, down. Then you have kids of your own-changes, Numbers four five and six-no longer. A parent dies everything changes, Kids get older -again. Divorce-nothing is ever the same, the kids get shared in alternating years. Aging kids have their own sets of wants-changaroo.
I know that I am not alone, that adapting traditions is more the norm than the exception, yet we cling to this hard held belief that Christmas is a time for traditional family values. But I know, Christmas is a time of petty hurts, minor tragedies, and remembrances of things and people lost,
and yet I love it so.
So again I ask, what traditions will I follow this year. When will I erect the tree, shall I wear my trousers rolled. The tears for all the hurts, tragedies, lost things and people will come, I will in some small way welcome them. And yet in all of this, I would change little.
1 comment:
It may be a by-product of growing up with divorced parents, but I don't remember a lot of traditions that occured each and every year. Nothing seemed to happen every year - there were things that often happened - quite often we had a tree (well, two trees - there was always at least one, just not in the same house), often we had stockings, often we watched Scrooge, often we had turkey at relations houses, almost always we got pajamas. But I can't remember any of those things happening each and every year. I think of traditions as usuals, but not the end-all, enough of them is good enough, I guess. And sometimes the fewer the better.
I think Prufrock would have been much more depressing if he had happened to mention Christmas rituals as well. In the rooms with women come and go with fruitcakes/talking of Michelangelo. That's depressing.
Post a Comment