happy new years

Another couple of hours and 2008 will be gone, it's events and memories will become our collective history, 2009 will dawn and the hope for new and better life will infuse us all with optimism, and celebration. Well if not all, then at least those of us with enough foresight to plan evening festivities. Some will look back and hope that the events of the waning year quickly recede into distant memory, others will wish that the events continue on, in an ever widening circle of joy. Some look ahead, hoping that the coming year will bring joy hitherto missing in one's life. While still others merely turn the page of a new and yet somehow familiar calendar. Many see the coming year with frightened eyes, hoping that the economic downturn turns out to be more bluster than substance. We are all of us fearful of the unknown, will our jobs be safe? Will my children? Will those we love, not fall too far? Almost universally we see this date as a time of assessment, and a time to reflect on new beginnings, a chance to correct errors in jugement and commission we have made. Many amongst us will resolve to change, our circumstances, our health, our station or our habits, we call these resolutions, and many amongst us make these, only to disappoint ourselves weeks or days or even hours later, when our resolve to change ourselves for the better, falls short once again Still others amongst us seek parties and celebrations in order to ring in the new year, as though time would stand still, were it not for the revellers. I wonder if the celebrants seek to deaden themselves from the realization that another year has passed, and little has changed. Despite resolutions to the contrary of only one year past I will watch another year pass in solitary contemplation, saddened that more time has escaped my grasp, that a year has passed and my accomplishments still are numbered by the birthdates of my children. That my writing, woeful as it is, has a smaller audience now than it did. That my loneliness seems more acute this year than last, one could almost rejoice that I am able to feel lonely, a feeling which has eluded me for many years. Save for the knowledge that knowing what one is missing, does nothing to make it easier. Happy New Year, and more to the point, happy new year

So it seems like much has been altered but little has changed, we remain in limbo, a country without direction, a people with nothing to hold onto. Prorogation is the order of the day. Is my llife also to be prorogued?

We have a new leader of the liberal party, a new leader of the heart of this country, of us. and he seems more interested in proving his intellect, his rightness than he does in engaging in discussion with us. I fear the lot of the country has been thrown to one for whom power is a battle of wits, and not an act of caring. One for whom cold reason replaces compassion and understanding. One who's self interest is paramount. We will see a person intent on outsmarting and out witting his opponent, not one who will demonstrate the power of love and caring.

At this time of year perhaps we should all remember the song written for the poor and unconsidered, which didn't include us at the time. Tears Are Not Enough.

On another note. Since we have all lost big on our RRSP's why not stimulate the economy by freeing up this money, by allowing us all to collapse or withdraw funds without any tax implications. Many of us have lost up to 40% of our monies, and given the opportunity, many would re-invest in short term growth options. many would just spend, maybe on new cars, maybe on North American cars. In any event, the percentage of people willing to spend their savings now might surprise, and might go a long way to stimulating the economy. Just a thought. We could all use something to look forward to. Post prorogation.

In the meantime I will retire to bedlam. Or at any rate my own method of lament.

Dec 06, the joy of knowing is replaced with the sadness of hoping. Those things we thought we knew shunted aside in favour of those we should have known. Melancholy reigns, the malaise that sweeps our country, also plays havoc with the individual. Those chosen to rule our land, flee when faced with criticism and recriminations, as those who rule our hearts follow the same path.
When the promise of a great land is abandoned it is painful, when hoped for endings prove themselves not worthy of struggle, it is heartbreaking. When futures are tossed about like so many dice, when so much is riding on the outcome, how much more painful is the game.
Canada I hope we share a future, where those who have made pledges to care and safeguard us, fulfill their promises, and that our promise for the future is bright.

So the day after the election, still a little shocked by the results, though not cataclysmic, still sort of off-putting. Don't really understand what people like about this country, if not that we care for our fellows, that we protect the rights of the less advantaged, that we respect and honour the views and rights of our minortities. that we steadfastly maintain a social safety net that protects our vulverable, that we guard our medicare system, that we open our doors and borders to all who would find like minded people, and that we only ask that you call yourself Canadian, that you identify as one of us. well this is what I love about this country, and Stephan I love hearing the stories, the songs, the images that our artists share with us about our shared and seperate histories. these stories, these images are important because they are our images, they are our stories, Stephan, these stories are us, you can't remove one without lessening the other. and that you don't get this is sad and frightening and unnerving.

going through many of the things that i love, i realize that our prime minister shares none of them, his supporters as well must share few, so how can I be so far off, how can those values that I cherish survive someone for whom I represent a minority, who's rights he has no interest in protceting. i worry.

On a brighter note, we are much closer to a merger with cuba, since our neighbour has gone commie, the jump to cuba should be much shorter now. U.S. commie you ask, well once a country nationalizes it's banks that is as communistic as one gets isn't it? so welcome to the new world, where neo con facsists play loose with the market economy, and cozy up to Marx.

So it's Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving to the two people who read this. Much to be thankful for, we live in a land of plenty, where banks, even though they face no crunch will receive 25 billion dollars. Harper claims that our banks are secure, that the American problem is their's alone, yet we need to prop Canadian banks up? Is there a disconnect in logic here? Now simple arithmetic tells us that if the American economy is ten times the size of ours, and they need 700 billion dollars to secure their banks, that we are facing a problem roughly a third the size or the American one. Hardly reassuring. But then again Harper's arithmetic skills have never impressed me.

Have heard a number of people talking about this being the death knell of the capitalistic experiment, it may well be true, the frightening thing about this possibilty is that China will be the emergent economy, and will be on the vanguard of whatever transpires. Hope that they factor in the environment, and how to feed their immense population (as well as the worlds) when whatever replacement economy emerges. In short I hope that China grows a heart.

Our election is tomorrow, a couple of near greens have withdrawn, to make way for the Liberal
candidates, and Elizabeth May has asked near green supporters to consider strategic voting, ie vote for the non Conservative frontrunner in close races. Good for you Ms. May, now would you please do us all a favour, and sign up as a Liberal, it is where your heart lays, and will make less fractious the left in this country. I love Canada, where else would one find a country of this size with four left leaning (I know they don't lean nearly far enough) political parties, facing off against one right wing?? Vote tomorrow, not because Harper is dangerous, not because his policies will cripple this country, not because he will further sell us out to american oil interests, and not because he is a war mongering bastard. No vote tomorrow because I am sick of seeing his idiotic smug face on tv all of the time. This guy looks like the self assured ass in our history class, who didn't have a clue, but couldn't shut his bleeding gob, well let's shut his bleeding gob for him.

Would you take investment advice from him, because had you, you would have lost big.....from tuesday to friday. shheesh. This is a man who admits that his mother knows what's happening on the markets before his Minister of Finance. Stephan, are you sure that you got the right man at the helm. And if you were Jim Flaherty, would you be looking for another job, if your boss made this sort of comment about your capabilities? Please Jim, get your resume out there, please.

Happy thanksgiving everyone, be thankful that nothing is forever, that government policy changes and rarely is catastrophic, nothing is non reversible, and that come Wednesday, we will still be living in the greatest country in the world, albeit maybe one ruled by a class A moron.

There is much to be thankful for.

Haven't done this for a while so here goes.

the election is close, well near at hand, looks like Harper will form another government. can only hope that it is a minority one. Though no one except Elizabeth May seems to be trying. But speaking of Ms May, how does one who speaks for the Green party, talk of managing our pulp and paper industries and make them more profitable. Shouldn't she be hugging trees, not harvesting them?

Why doesn't anyone ask the question of Harper, who insists that the American economic crisis is different from the Canadian, why we continue to tie our wagon to that particular pony? If as he insists, the US is heading for a deep recession, how do we insulate ourselves when they remain our single largest trade partner? What's the plan?

Speaking of the US, they just today passed the bailout bill. Now if you were a borrower who had lost your house due to the ridiculous lending rules that prevailed, and the idiots who lent you the money with no hope of recouping their money get paid off, wouldn't you be pissed that all you got was the satisfaction that you weren't the only one who got taken? Would you be mad enough to sue the government to get your house back? mortgage free? since your indebtedness was relieved? Do I smell a class action law suit that will absolutely drive the final nail into the US ?
this could amount to trillions and trillions, when one adds the punitive damages on. All government and lenders knew that they were lending to unqualified borrowers.....

I'll get back sooner, Harper smarten up, and Stephane and Jack......do something, quick.

Change, and no not the coin variety, though this may come up later, but change. The small incremental changes of self awareness, and the massive upheaval changes of life altering decisions. The smallest change can bring enormous fallout, the change of perspective, a new vista of sight. We all of us adapt differently to change, some deny that change has occurred, some embrace it and depending on circumstance we all alter our adaptation to those circumstances. One thing is certain, however change, much like shit, happens.

Walking tonight, I was struck by the change of season, typically in this part of the world, winter fades and spring arrives smoothly, a transition of cycles. But this year one is struck by how ferociously winter hangs on. It strikes me as a dogged determination to not give way....There is a struggle going on, and winter seems to be prevailing. The seasons or perhaps just winter is opposing change, valiantly, and unpopularly, but winter seems to be unwilling to give way to the change that we all know must come.

Change is a struggle that we all wrestle with, be it the coming adulthood of our children, the beginnning or ending of relationships, the changes in employment, the change of residence, or just the inexorable passing of time. We struggle to adjust, we struggle to adapt, and in large measure we struggle to avoid. But just like with Old Man Winter, we will face a losing battle. Better to accede to the new truth, better to willingly accept the new reality, is it not?

If resistance is futile, than is offering resistance absurd? Can we hope to stop the coming changes? Yet do we not all hear ourselves say, ah this is better, if only it could stay like this?
If only this level of contentment would stick around, then I'd be happy. But there is always a new dynamic, around the corner to challenge our resolve to be happy....a new set of friends, a new set of circumstances and a new set of worries to combat our contentment.

I am old, and resistant to change, and though I have undergone much change am still very much like winter, fighting against the changes to come. For me the seasons and the flavours of the world pass, but not without remorse, nor struggle.

So I am a smoker, trying to become a non-smoker. I've been smoking for 40 years, not smoking for twelve years of my life. Today as I was struggling with my second day of not smoking, it struck me exactly how addictive ciagarettes really are. Jesus, I fest like a heoine addict must feel, my hands began to shake, I felt like I was going to stroke out.....Jesus....

My mind went to crazy places, worrying if those people I know care about me really do. all because of a stupid tobacco dependency. I am quitting because I have decided that my money could be better spent on other pursuits. I have thus far exhibited none of the usual health problems...strictly a monetary inducement....the purposes of which will remain between me and the other interested party. i felt that this motivation would be enough, and yet, apparently not in the first thoes of withdrawal. these things are dangerous...even this I wouldn't admit to until thi , my hopeful last attempt to quit them...wish me luck. My health and happiness are at stake.

So I am heartbroken, just saw an advertisement for something called a bunk-futon, this is so close to being a bunk-chair that the makers can't be far from developing it. Another (the first) glorious idea of mine co-opted by the capitalist bastards!!! If i could only figure out who to sue, i wouldn't do a thing.

On another completely different topic there is a new site on facebook that caters to the Canadian Political scene, it is open to all, one needn't join a group, nor do anything except read and comment on various subjects that are opened for debate by readers. It is a brilliant idea, and a real opportunity to exchange viewpoints with fellow Canadians, the downside is that my views seem strangely out of step with the views of fellow Canadians, at least those who are posting on this site. I don't often feel like a far left, socialist, backsliding, bleeding heart, relic, yet in reading and commenting on this site, that is just how I feel. So far from whatever mainstream this site is appealing to am I, that no one has yet to comment or mention in passing any thing that I have written. I am an invisible man, people are jumping my comments to speak to the comments of someone three posts ago. Makes me think i am back in highschool, only this go round i don't even get to strike the sullen James Dean pose.

But I'll keep plugging, too late to stop now, as Van Morrison is want to say.

On a quiet Sunday afternoon, sitting around waiting for an answer, that one might not want to receive, the idea of bravery took hold of my conscious mind. The nature of bravery and the other side of the coin, cowardice.

Bravery, a selfless act of courage, typically for a nobler cause. An external act to the betterment of a movement, cause, belief, or nation. A soldier putting his life on the line for his country. A fireman entering a burning building to save a family. A politician giong against conventional wisdom to pursue a greater good. A citizen ignoring personal safety to intercede on another's behalf.

Cowardice, an act of self-preservation, completely internal, for no greater purpose than to protect oneself from harm. Either physical or emotional, have been an emotional coward for far too long. Need to not succumb so easily to blaming others for my own fears and failings. Going to try this out.

So I took January off. Maybe nothing was bugging me, don't really know.

Canada will be deciding this year whether or not to continue its role in Afghanistan, and if we continue, what shape and form it takes. More combat, which seems unavoidable if we are there, or more rebuilding infrastructure, which seems impossible if things continue to be destroyed by fighting. My own view has recently undergone some change, there was a time when I would have said bring our troops home now. Now I'm not convinced that we should be there, but not willing to cavalierly walk away, the one thing that I have always admired about our Canada is its willingness to do the moral thing. I guess that I am as susceptible to media as the next, and I have come to view the effort as admirable, if I still have some negative feelings about the deeds.

We can't turn back the hands of time, and wish that none of this had happened, we are there, our people are being killed and nothing really seems to be being resolved. Where do we go from here? Again, to arrive at solution one must first identify the problem. What seemed like an effort to aid the US in its fight against terror by somehow blocking or providing a safe zone of terrorist infiltration into Iraq, has become something greater. Is this just a matter of regime change? A matter of exerting our western will? Or as I sincerely hope, an effort to introduce freedoms and self determination to a troubled populace? Is the problem that Afghanistan exists as an anti-west force?, that they view us as the enemy? that they have govern themselves differently from us? that civil liberties that we take for granted are non-existent? or is the problem that Afghanistan exists?

If we truly believe that western man has arrived at a system of government that best reflects the best hopes for the populace then shouldn't our efforts reflect this belief? If fighting terrorists is the best use of our might, then should we not be at the same time be demonstrating our morality. If we are truly trying to help, shouldn't our efforts be reflective of our belief system?
Shouldn't we be doing every thing we can to make sure that we run a clean, open, and value based campaign? Now this might strike some as silly, but it was exactly this that the Geneva Convention was attempting to do, regulate how and under what rules enemy forces engaged.

We can not tolerate abuse or torture of prisoners, we will not tolerate deception or obfuscation by our leaders. We in Canada need to be included in the discussion. What I suggest is that in order to win this fight, we need to be ourselves and prove in some way that the fight is honourable and just. This is not a fight for territory, nor gain, but rather a fight for the hearts of a population, that needs to see that we truly have their best interests in our hearts. A most difficult task when one has your rifle in the others face, for sure, but one we must concentrate on winning.

So Jack, running is not an option, yes the military war might be unwinnable, but we might be able to stay long enough to win the social war.

So Stephen, staying without understanding the objectives is untenable, we need to know what you are thinking and what our forces are being asked to do. It is up to you to run an open and honest government, so that those watching will see its benefit. Hope that you are up to this task.

Stephane, we need you to engage in the discussion, not on party lines, we don't need politics, we need to be discussing values, did nothing M Chretien teach you sink in?

Canadians, we need to begin discussing all of this, together, openly and cross culturally, we need to begin to once again define our collective differences, so we can be a map for the world. We will never lead the world, but we can sure guide it. Look at us, it works here.

Peace